i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize