You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
