just come out here and I will go home with you...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
