ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
