sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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