They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
