I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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