If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
