Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
