Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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