is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
