Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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