Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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