Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Randomize
