Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He has the fingertips of a God
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