id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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