it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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