hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
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Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
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Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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