Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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