remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
