He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
i now understand why vodka
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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