She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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