That's intense
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Couch. On fire.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
