why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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