I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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