I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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