Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
