I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
