I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
