I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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