she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
