idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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