Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize