Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize