Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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