I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
