i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
