I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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