Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
