Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
