I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Randomize
