this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
