Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
