Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
