Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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