I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
