adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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