This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
