I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
