Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
