My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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