Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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