So drunk its hurt
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize