She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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