if you like me you must not know who I am
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
