i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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