Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
