I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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