my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
