Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I got inside last night via doggy door
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
